I Never Got To Say

The weather’s changing; soon it’ll be May,
And  I’m still choking on the words I never got to say.
The words slowly melt into my soul until they run through my veins,
They swim through my heart, up to my brain, where the memory of you still remains.
For a moment I catch a glimpse of you and I can finally breathe, my heart can beat,
I can dream without them breaking, for a moment that glimpse of you is so bittersweet.
But before my mind gets too far away,
I gasp for air, still choking on the words I never got to say.
The sun’s setting; soon it’ll be night,
And I’ll still find myself wide awake under the bright moonlight.
All alone in a cold and empty bed, 
Wrestling with all the words I left unsaid.
No one knows the sounds of your ghost better than I do,
And no one understands why I still see shadows of you, but I do.
I wish I could say what I never said is done,
But it’s not over; it’s something I can’t outrun.
As dawn breaks and the sun peaks through the sky bringing a new day,
I can only continue my struggle, choking on the words I never got to say.
It’s time to get up, 
Begin the same old cover up.
A little lipstick, mascara and blush to hide the tear stained cheeks,
No one will ever notice I haven’t slept in weeks.
And so the war continues on,
Nothing’s changed, you’re still gone.
I’m still wrapped up in this illusion,
You and I are still bleeding because of this confusion.
And even though my tongue is tied I know that someday,
Eventually I’ll stop choking on the words I never did say.
I’ll never stop reaching out to hold you,
I’ll never stop wishing I’d told you all the things I thought you already knew.

This intellectual property belongs to Kattie Lindsay. Do not copy, replicate, change this, or claim it as your own. You’re welcome to share this if proper writing credit is given upon doing so.

© Kattie Lindsay 2016

Room To Breathe

Days go by and you’re still half a world away,
Before I know it, yesterday turns into today.
I cling to the phone sitting in silence just to hear you breathe,
I know you’re okay; we’ve made it through another day with a little room to breathe.
These letters and these pictures are the only piece of you I have to hold on to,
At times I’m so wrapped up in them my world only has enough room for me and you.
For a few minutes the days of waiting are all worth my while,
And if I close my eyes and just listen, I can actually hear you crack a smile.
We make plans and promises we swear we’ll never break,
We talk about the memories and vows we can’t wait to make,
Somehow we’re still together even though we’re far apart,
The miles don’t matter; distance means nothing between your arms and my heart.
I long for the moments sitting on the phone in silence when I can hear you breathe,
I know you’re okay; we’ve made it through another day with a little room to breathe.
I find it so hard to leave yesterday behind,
Because the seconds feel like days and it’s hard to occupy my mind.
Thoughts of you keep me up in bed at night,
I can’t help but wonder; is it safe where you lay your head tonight?
Are you carrying little pieces of me with you?
Is that enough to get you through?
I just wanna sit on the phone in silence so I can hear you breathe,
I need to know you’re okay; need to know we’ve made it through another day so I can have a little room to breathe.
I need to know we’re still living under the same moon,
It’ll all be over, you’ll come home soon.
Cuz paper hearts they tear; smiles begin to wear.
I need to feel you there; feel my lungs breathe your same air.
I won’t be at peace till you’re with me,
And I won’t sleep till you fill up this empty space next to me.
But for now I’ll hold onto the static laced with the silent sounds you make when you breathe,
For today, I’ll know you’re okay; we’ve made it through another day,
And for a few moments I finally have a little room to breathe.

This intellectual property belongs to Kattie Lindsay. Do not copy, replicate, change this, or claim it as your own. You’re welcome to share this if proper writing credit is given upon doing so.
© Kattie Lindsay 2016