I Never Got To Say

The weather’s changing; soon it’ll be May,
And  I’m still choking on the words I never got to say.
The words slowly melt into my soul until they run through my veins,
They swim through my heart, up to my brain, where the memory of you still remains.
For a moment I catch a glimpse of you and I can finally breathe, my heart can beat,
I can dream without them breaking, for a moment that glimpse of you is so bittersweet.
But before my mind gets too far away,
I gasp for air, still choking on the words I never got to say.
The sun’s setting; soon it’ll be night,
And I’ll still find myself wide awake under the bright moonlight.
All alone in a cold and empty bed, 
Wrestling with all the words I left unsaid.
No one knows the sounds of your ghost better than I do,
And no one understands why I still see shadows of you, but I do.
I wish I could say what I never said is done,
But it’s not over; it’s something I can’t outrun.
As dawn breaks and the sun peaks through the sky bringing a new day,
I can only continue my struggle, choking on the words I never got to say.
It’s time to get up, 
Begin the same old cover up.
A little lipstick, mascara and blush to hide the tear stained cheeks,
No one will ever notice I haven’t slept in weeks.
And so the war continues on,
Nothing’s changed, you’re still gone.
I’m still wrapped up in this illusion,
You and I are still bleeding because of this confusion.
And even though my tongue is tied I know that someday,
Eventually I’ll stop choking on the words I never did say.
I’ll never stop reaching out to hold you,
I’ll never stop wishing I’d told you all the things I thought you already knew.

This intellectual property belongs to Kattie Lindsay. Do not copy, replicate, change this, or claim it as your own. You’re welcome to share this if proper writing credit is given upon doing so.

© Kattie Lindsay 2016