Eyes So Green

Eyes So Green

Sweet little angel, eyes so green, lips so red--you're my Sara. 

You look so beautiful even through your bleeding mascara. 

Come cry here, bleed your tears full of sorrow, don't run and hide and push me away. 

I know you're secretly sick of fighting and it sounds so cliche to even say.

As the pain begins to numb you shut your eyes,

Painfully remembering those regretful goodbyes. 

I don't think you ever meant to cause all of this pain. 

And I know an apology stings your heart and drives you insane. 

The razor dulls the pain, but only for a moment; And all this unpredictability takes you by surprise. 

You're left wondering why you even try.

No one knows your true heart, but if they did they'd know you're amazing--that at one time you were my only savior. 

Sara, I love you, even though you continue to kill me with your destructive behavior. 

Your love was kind; and sometimes your love was blind. 

I wish we could forget this and leave it all behind. 

Do you still think it was worth it to throw everything away?

Please hold your breath if you've got anything more hurtful to say. 

My heart just can't handle anything more. 

Please stop and listen before you permanently close that door. 

I still think you're beautiful with your bleeding mascara. 

In my heart you'll always be my angel--with your eyes so green, and your lips so red. 

You're still my person, my soulmate even after all the unforgivable words you've said. 

Lips so red, eyes so green, they still shine through your bleeding mascara. 

Time and circumstance has changed so much, but I'll never stop loving you--you'll always be my Sara.

This intellectual property belongs to Kattie Lindsay. Do not copy, replicate, change this, or claim it as your own. You’re welcome to share this if proper writing credit is given upon doing so.
© Kattie Lindsay 2016

Your Secret

We talk in circles; reminiscing about the past and talking about all the places we could’ve gone.
We dance in circles; clinging to hope that there’s a future we can build new dreams on.
You know we could have it all, if the rest of the world would just float away,
You know we could make it, if you could just walk away.
We’ve done this for so long; we’ve been here so many times before.
You hold my heart in your back pocket, and I keep yours in my top drawer.
No one knows our truth, there’s no way they could ever understand…
How the world disappears with just the touch of your hand.
And it’s like a spark that ignites a flame,
The way my heart stops when I hear you say my name.
I don’t wanna be your secret anymore.
You tell me that I deserve so much more,
And you break my heart each time you walk out that door.
I don’t wanna be your secret anymore.
You mean well in all you do; you’re selfless and too loyal for your own good.
You could have so much more; you would have it all if you’d just believe that you could.
I know we made a go at this many years ago, when we were full of innocence and youth,
I know I hurt you, I damaged you; but that was never my intention and that’s the truth.
Time has changed us both, but you still fit me like my favorite old sweater.
If you can trust me, I promise I will love you so much better.
No one knows our truth, there’s no way they could ever understand…
The way you hold me up when I’m too weak to even stand.
And it’s like a spark that ignites a flame,
When you tell me that you still feel the same.
I can’t be your secret anymore.
You and I both deserve so much more.
I know it hurts you just much when you have to walk out that door.
Please tell me, I don’t have to be your secret anymore.
Please don’t keep chasing me unless you’re ready to catch me.
Please don’t tell me you love me, until you’re finally free…
Free to love me openly, free to just let us be.
Free to shed the shame,
And free to declare I am not the one to blame.
You know we’re comfortable together; you still fit me like my old favorite sweater.
Don’t think about the aftermath and the pieces we’ll have to pick up later, let’s just love each other better.
I just wanna love you so much better.
But I can’t do that until I’m not your secrete anymore.

-Kattie Lindsay 12/23/2012

This intellectual property belongs to Kattie Lindsay. Do not copy, replicate, change this, or claim it as your own. You’re welcome to share this if proper writing credit is given upon doing so.
© Kattie Lindsay 2016

I Never Got To Say

The weather’s changing; soon it’ll be May,
And  I’m still choking on the words I never got to say.
The words slowly melt into my soul until they run through my veins,
They swim through my heart, up to my brain, where the memory of you still remains.
For a moment I catch a glimpse of you and I can finally breathe, my heart can beat,
I can dream without them breaking, for a moment that glimpse of you is so bittersweet.
But before my mind gets too far away,
I gasp for air, still choking on the words I never got to say.
The sun’s setting; soon it’ll be night,
And I’ll still find myself wide awake under the bright moonlight.
All alone in a cold and empty bed, 
Wrestling with all the words I left unsaid.
No one knows the sounds of your ghost better than I do,
And no one understands why I still see shadows of you, but I do.
I wish I could say what I never said is done,
But it’s not over; it’s something I can’t outrun.
As dawn breaks and the sun peaks through the sky bringing a new day,
I can only continue my struggle, choking on the words I never got to say.
It’s time to get up, 
Begin the same old cover up.
A little lipstick, mascara and blush to hide the tear stained cheeks,
No one will ever notice I haven’t slept in weeks.
And so the war continues on,
Nothing’s changed, you’re still gone.
I’m still wrapped up in this illusion,
You and I are still bleeding because of this confusion.
And even though my tongue is tied I know that someday,
Eventually I’ll stop choking on the words I never did say.
I’ll never stop reaching out to hold you,
I’ll never stop wishing I’d told you all the things I thought you already knew.

This intellectual property belongs to Kattie Lindsay. Do not copy, replicate, change this, or claim it as your own. You’re welcome to share this if proper writing credit is given upon doing so.

© Kattie Lindsay 2016

Room To Breathe

Days go by and you’re still half a world away,
Before I know it, yesterday turns into today.
I cling to the phone sitting in silence just to hear you breathe,
I know you’re okay; we’ve made it through another day with a little room to breathe.
These letters and these pictures are the only piece of you I have to hold on to,
At times I’m so wrapped up in them my world only has enough room for me and you.
For a few minutes the days of waiting are all worth my while,
And if I close my eyes and just listen, I can actually hear you crack a smile.
We make plans and promises we swear we’ll never break,
We talk about the memories and vows we can’t wait to make,
Somehow we’re still together even though we’re far apart,
The miles don’t matter; distance means nothing between your arms and my heart.
I long for the moments sitting on the phone in silence when I can hear you breathe,
I know you’re okay; we’ve made it through another day with a little room to breathe.
I find it so hard to leave yesterday behind,
Because the seconds feel like days and it’s hard to occupy my mind.
Thoughts of you keep me up in bed at night,
I can’t help but wonder; is it safe where you lay your head tonight?
Are you carrying little pieces of me with you?
Is that enough to get you through?
I just wanna sit on the phone in silence so I can hear you breathe,
I need to know you’re okay; need to know we’ve made it through another day so I can have a little room to breathe.
I need to know we’re still living under the same moon,
It’ll all be over, you’ll come home soon.
Cuz paper hearts they tear; smiles begin to wear.
I need to feel you there; feel my lungs breathe your same air.
I won’t be at peace till you’re with me,
And I won’t sleep till you fill up this empty space next to me.
But for now I’ll hold onto the static laced with the silent sounds you make when you breathe,
For today, I’ll know you’re okay; we’ve made it through another day,
And for a few moments I finally have a little room to breathe.

This intellectual property belongs to Kattie Lindsay. Do not copy, replicate, change this, or claim it as your own. You’re welcome to share this if proper writing credit is given upon doing so.
© Kattie Lindsay 2016

Unjustly Bare

Unjustly Bare—Kattie Lindsay 10/30/2011

It’s the kind of eyes you can’t help but get lost in,

Because it’s such a familiar place—a place you’ve already been.

It’s the kind of smile you just can’t help but give in to,

Because it’s so inviting and intoxicating, it makes you forget what’s really true.

It’s the kind of weakness you somehow find strength in,

But still, the rope frays and it wears you completely thin.

Soon enough you find yourself so unjustly bare,

Wondering just how exactly you let yourself get there.

And it’s not fair,

That once again you’ve let those familiar eyes leave you so unjustly bare.

It’s the kind of heart you just can’t help but love,

Because it’s something you want nothing more than to be a part of.

It’s the kind of touch you can’t help but reach out for,

Because once you’re given an inch, you want to take a mile more.

It’s the kind of danger you somehow find hope in,

But still, the rope frays and it wears you completely thin.

Soon enough you find yourself so unjustly bare,

Wondering just how exactly you let yourself get there.

And it’s not fair,

That once again the love you wanted so much to be a part of has left you so unjustly bare.

It’s the steps you take that circles right back to that same door,

Because being alone is worse than ending up on that cold concrete floor.

It’s those moments where no words are needed to take your breath away,

Because that’s what keeps you ending up here once again at the end of the day.

It’s the kind of misery you find comfort in,

But still, the rope frays and it wears you completely thin.

Soon enough you find yourself so unjustly bare,

Wondering just how exactly you let yourself get there.

And it’s not fair,

That these circles bring you right back to a door that no one will answer while you’re waiting outside standing all alone, so unjustly bare.

This intellectual property belongs to Kattie Lindsay. Do not copy, replicate, change this, or claim it as your own. You’re welcome to share this if proper writing credit is given upon doing so.
© Kattie Lindsay 2016

Louder Than A Bomb

You play me like a fiddle, you know?

You take it fast, and then you take it slow.

It’s an up and down, winding rollercoaster ride,

But regardless I still yearn for you to be by my side.

Your lies sound so pretty, I find them hard to resist,

And the only thing I find solace in is hoping some truth in them exists.

Why do you keep pulling me in so close and then pushing me away?

The rope you have around my soul is beginning to fray.

I don’t want to give you up, but I don’t know if my heart will let me stay.

Do you understand that the emptiness I see in your eyes speaks volumes?

And the words you keep inside are ringing out louder than a bomb.

Your pure silence is deafening to my ears,

But still I hold out hope for your voice after all of these years.

You play me like a puppet, I am at your will.

You pull me up, you pull me down, does it give you a cheap thrill?

These strings are worn and ready to break,

And I can’t promise that I’ll still be here when you wake.

Please just show me that you want me too,

And I’ll stand by you and do what it takes to get us through.

Cut these strings that you continue to use to manipulate my heart,

Let me love you without condition before this all falls apart.

Please don’t make me give up on you, give me one good reason to stay,

Breathe life into my soul once again before this rope completely frays.

Bring back that light in your eyes that speaks volumes to me,

Show me that light in your eyes that once reflected you and reflected me.

Speak the words you used to mean, the ones that always rang out louder than a bomb.

Because I can’t stand your silence anymore, it’s deafening to my ears.

I’m still holding out hope to hear your true voice, even after these seven painful years.

Show me you.

Show me your love.

Tell me I’m not foolish for holding on to you.

Take me in your arms and let our love ring out louder than a bomb.

Let our love spark.

Let our love ignite.

Let our love blast,

Because you and I both know it can once again ring louder than a bomb.

This intellectual property belongs to Kattie Lindsay. Do not copy, replicate, change this, or claim it as your own. You’re welcome to share this if proper writing credit is given upon doing so.
© Kattie Lindsay 2016

If You're Listening

As long as you continue to live inside of me,

I won’t let you forget me,

No, I won’t let you forget me.

As long as I’m existing with a broken heart,

I won’t let you see me fall apart,

No, I won’t let you see me fall apart.

And as long as I have to bare this indelible tattoo,

I won’t stop writing about you,

No, I won’t stop writing about you.

So if you’re listening, I hope you understand how much this hurts.

I’ve wiped away a million tears trying to get over you,

And braved a thousand hurricanes just to get away from you.

But you, you’ve always been undeniably unattainable,

So impossibly, inexplicably, unattainable.

I was running from myself, never from you.

You were never close enough to grasp, just close enough to stay in view.

You took me, you shook me, you left me on my knees begging for more,

But in the end the only thing I have left of you are in boxes on my floor.

As long as you continue to live inside of me,

I won’t let you forget me,

No, I won’t let you forget me.

As long as I’m existing with a broken heart,

I won’t let you see me fall apart,

No, I won’t let you see me fall apart.

And as long as I have to bare this indelible tattoo,

I won’t stop writing about you,

No I won’t stop writing about you.

So if you’re listening, I hope you understand how much this hurts.

Here I am today to tell you about the holes you left in my soul,

And how I’d like you to give back the parts of me that you stole.

Please, just breathe back the life that used to live in this broken girl.

I know you’re listening now, and I hope you understand just how much this hurts.

I can go now, there’s nothing left to chase,

I don’t have any more steps left to retrace.

It’s gonna be a long and empty road,

But it’s off my mind, so I’m handing you this load.

As I let the pieces of you slowly die inside of me,

I know you won’t forget me,

No, I know you can’t forget me.

As long as you’re existing with a blackened heart,

I know you’ll soon fall apart,

Yeah, I know you’ll soon fall apart.

And as long as you continue to be so unattainable,

I know everything in front of you will undoubtedly be unobtainable.

But still, I won’t stop wondering about you.

And no, I won’t stop writing about you.

So while you’re listening, I hope you can feel just how much this still hurts.

This intellectual property belongs to Kattie Lindsay. Do not copy, replicate, change this, or claim it as your own. You’re welcome to share this if proper writing credit is given upon doing so.
© Kattie Lindsay 2016